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This is an autobiographical snippet that I hope you will enjoy.

By W. A. Mogollon

It was a spectated event. Mayhaps it might have been different had I not avoided it as long as I had. I tried to avoid it that day as well, I was afraid. I don't know why. I believe it was due to the fact that it would not be a private thing shared only with my girlfriend. For some reason everyone was highly interested in observing the event. Given that - I had never kissed a girlfriend before I felt I needed to limit the number of witnesses to what could be a life altering embarrassment.
I was 13. Thirteen Years old and I had my first real girlfriend. My first real girlfriend, that is, since I made that hellish trip through puberty. Or was I in fact still in it?
I had had girlfriends before, or a silly childish notion of a girlfriend. I had even kissed a girl when I was 8 years old or so. A friend and I were camped out in his backyard with his cousin. I thought his cousin was beautiful. She dared me to kiss her, and he dared me as well. "What the hell?" I thought. He had just got done kissing her so why shouldn't I? We mashed our faces together - it was so heavenly. It gave me those butterflies in the stomach one gets when they know they are doing something naughty. I saw my friends’ cousin once more in my life after that night. She must have forgotten what a good kisser I was because she didn't share my desire to mash our faces together in reminiscence. She actually kicked me in my bathroom parts that day. For Shame!
The pain and embarrassment kinda put me off the whole trying to kiss girls thing for a while. It was probably 6 months later I worked up enough courage to ask a different girl to make with the smoochies. This one was not aware of my reputation for being the cats meow, or maybe she was for her first reaction was to throw a cat in my face. How in the hell does a body make a Quick response decision like that? "He asked for a kiss, what do I do, what do I do? THROW THE CAT!!!" The scars on my face were nothing compared to the scars on my little tiny boy sized heart.
But this time things would be different, god willing. This Kiss, This first post pubescent kiss was utterly more important - It was to be more monumental. It was my understanding that my tongue would be involved in some as yet unknown capacity. Or, rather, I knew the capacity, but only as far as that my tongue would spend a while inside her mouth. What I would do with it once I put it in there I had yet to begin to plan. And I was still reeling with the thought that I would be kissing my first really for real girlfriend, no less.
The fact that I even had a girlfriend was still somewhat of a novelty.
One pre-girlfriend day, my single friends and I were sitting at one of their houses making crank (or is that Prank) phone calls. It was the pre-*69 pre caller ID era, (the good old days) when crank calls were still a butt load of fun, and it was all we did to waste away a summer day. We had not as yet perfected crank calling into the art form it would one day become for us. So we dicked around with the cliché crank calls, "is your refrigerator running," and other novice crank ploys.
This day was like any other; we dialed random numbers after we had dialed our regulars. Always write the number down in case it doesn't go well, you can give them a ring back and try again. Maybe you get a live one, then you have a regular, which you call back day after day. Everything was going as usual until we dialed that one magic number. We were using one of our favorites, we all went to our predefined stations, separate rooms so we could all be on the line. Picking up the receiver after the number was dialed. A girl answered.
"Is there a John in your house?" Asks one of my friends.
"No," comes the reply from the other end of the line.
"Well then where the hell do you go to the bathroom at?" Silly uproarious laughter ensues, - Silly, being the key word there. Then from the other end of the line we hear the voice, "Hunh?" The fact that she didn't get it kind of stifled our laughter. What a waste. 
"Who is this?" asked the girl. We introduced ourselves using fake names, which she didn't believe anyway. We could hear our (unfulfilling) victim conversing with other girls in her immediate vicinity. Two other girls picked up extensions at our victims house. They all gave us their names and we pretended like we already knew them. We pretended that we were someone they knew for a while and laughed as they tried to guess. After a time of this we divulged our real identities. They didn't believe us then either and it took a while to convince them they in fact did not know us at all. We ended up talking for hours and before we hung up we all had girlfriends and had exchanged telephone numbers.
We arranged to meet them that very night at some annual carnival at their school. They lived some 2 miles away oddly enough. It wasn't actually all that odd, since we weren't so inventive as to dial a different prefix when we made crank calls. Pretty much guaranteeing that all our victims would be in close proximity.
When we met, things really didn't go as planned. My friend’s mom drove my friends and me to this carnival at a Lutheran church/school to meet the loves of our respective lives. I was elated to see that my girlfriend was far more beautiful then the others, which were merely cute. One was a tad wide horizontally and the other was very wide vertically. I mean to say she was Amazonian. My girlfriend, goddess that she was, it appeared was a little to good looking. She broke up with me shortly after we met (probably sour grapes any old way). At least she was nice about it. The other two were more congenial, friendlier, and we hung out with them. They introduced us to more women, and we had fun for a bit.
At some point some manner of argument broke out between my friend and his non-Amazonian girlfriend. It had something to do with us having brought a bag of Doritos with us. What’s so strange about that? I take Doritos on all my first dates. I always offer to share. And when we left the Amazon was the only one who still had a boyfriend.
The next day phone calls were placed, apologies made, apologies accepted. And I was once again the odd man out. My Ex, (I had an Ex, I was cool like that) tried her best to let me off the hook with dignity, as she reiterated why it wouldn't work between us. I was short she was average height, blah blah blah. She tried not to hurt my feelings, and I tried not to show the hurt. I was introduced to a different girl about a week later, and I had a girlfriend again. I think my new girlfriend was still better looking then the girlfriends of my friends - though she didn't hold a bucket to the beauty of my Ex. Or is that hold a candle, I don't suppose that matters.
Time progressed to the point where I began this story. In the event you have forgotten, there was to be this kiss - This monumental kiss.
So, by the day of my first kiss, my friends had been kissing for a few weeks. We would ride mopeds over to see them and hang out all day. Both my friends had mopeds and took turns trailing me over. We had all begun to spend our evenings at home on the phone so we had all gotten to know each other pretty well. My friends’ girlfriends both lived on the same street. Mine lived further away, so I would only get to see her if she was able to spend the night at one of the other girlfriends houses.
So, I say again, on the day of my first kiss the friend that dated the Amazonian was not present. My other friend and I had spent the day at his girlfriend’s house. It was the place to be. She had cable television and a pool. We spent most of our time there swimming or watching MTV. It was 1983 and MTV was a relatively new thing to the world. We also spent time avoiding kicking over cans of planters nuts filled with tobacco spit that her father left lying around. We placed bets on who would be the sorry son of a bitch that splattered brown nasty saliva all over their feet. 
This day all of the girlfriends were there, including my most recent Ex-girlfriend. Having her there made me a might more self conscious then I might have been. Given my first girlfriend's presence I had made my mind up early on that today would not be the day. I was still enthralled by her after all. I wasn't too thrilled about having her watching me kiss my current girlfriend, much less the possible humiliation of not doing it well. I wasn’t clear though on how I would avoid it again.
We had quite a bit of fun that day, or they did. I had spent the day in an awkward state, admiring my Ex-girlfriend and trying not to get caught oggling by my current one. Then regrettably it came time for my friend and I to leave (gulp). 
The moped was parked on the sidewalk. We had all been sitting on the grass where it sloped down to the walk. My friend and I stood to mount up and ride off into the sunset. He began to kiss his girlfriend goodbye, and I began to sidle toward the moped. It was up on the kickstand and already running, as I climbed on the seat. My girlfriend stood up and I attempted a half ass wave goodbye to her as my friend finished exchanging saliva with his woman. (We liked to call them our women - we were cool that way too.) He jumped in front of me on the moped and his girlfriend asked me if I had intended on kissing my girl goodbye (gulp). Ouch! My girlfriend had been standing off a few steps, probably feeling rejected by my careless wave goodbye.
That was it. Now all eyes were upon me and I was realizing I was going to have to do this. There would be no escaping it, try as I might. "Yeeaaah," I said as if I had always been planning to kiss her. "If she ever comes over here," I added, trying to retain some cool. You see how I skillfully make it look as if she was the reluctant one. Like, if she didn’t get kissed it would have been her own fault. I got social skillz like that.
She approached demurely (like a deer in headlights) as I nervously licked my lips. I was extremely aware of the scrutiny I was under. Ten pairs of eyes burned through me, yet I was only concerned with one of those sets. And that set did not belong to the girl who was about to receive my tongue in her mouth.
I was turned halfway to meet her. She approached me to my left and reached her right hand to my right shoulder as I put my left arm around her waist. This to my perception was all happening in super slow motion. As I was currently seated on the moped she was just a little bit above me. She bent to kiss me as I rose to meet her full lips. Strangely I had not until that moment noticed how round and shiny her lips had been. A quick sideways glance gave me a vision of my first girlfriends face staring - in awe of this moment. Mouth parted gently, eyebrows raised in anticipation. That expression was quickly etched into my memory as my current girlfriends hair fell forward (like a god send) to act as a curtain, shielding me from all those prying eyes.
OUR LIPS MET! This would be a fairy tale kiss. Seconds stretched out forever. The super slomo of the moment switched into super fastmo, as several things happened all at once.
As I said I was in the process of rising to meet those lovely glistening expectant lips. I was half turned with my left foot on the ground. My friend decided at that moment to pull the moped forward to drop it off the kickstand. My right leg was still wrapped over the seat. So, as he did so the moped hits my right leg throwing my weight left. I clutched at my girlfriends waist with my left arm as my face pressed roughly into hers, smashing our lips together. I kicked down with my left foot spinning further into her, further flattening our faces together. There may have been some teeth grindage here.
She, my current girl, struggled to maintain her balance as she simultaneously attempted to help me regain my own. Alas, the quick weight shift and subsequent lurching attempt to regain my balance proved to be too much for her.
She stumbles backward - our lips, still glued firmly together. I am now hopping on one leg holding onto her, trying not to smash our faces together further. Our roles suddenly reversed, I am now trying to keep my balance while attempting to assist her in regaining hers. It is not going to happen.
We tumble over, she straight back and I, still somewhat half turned. My first girlfriend leaps away to avoid being crushed by the tumult of our clumsy passion. We land in a heated heap; amazingly we don't land all that hard upon the sloped lawn. Or I don’t at least because I land on her. More amazingly our faces do not do damage to one another, or should I say do no further damage than the smashing they have already endured.
All of the onlookers are still somewhat in a state of shock until my present friend's girlfriend says, "Damn, I said kiss her not rape her.”
They all erupt with laughter, but I am not really paying attention. You see I have shifted my weight and am now lying directly on top of my girlfriend. Being that she was trapped beneath me, I decided to kiss her some more. She kissed me back and I paid attention to nothing but the kiss - And the beauty of the moment.
Our lips pressed firmly gainst each other’s. Our novice tongues wrestling around in a contest to see whose mouth would be more thoroughly explored. I lost, but enjoyed the losing. I was having that whole naughty butterfly in the stomach thing all over again. Quite euphoric in an, ‘I’m about to get a chubby,’ sort of way. In the immortal words of Rain Man, “It was wet”. I mean there was spit everywhere - It was quite beautiful.
Then we began to laugh!
Our teeth clanged together and we both drew away as the laughter of the spectators began to fade. Sucking up the saliva trail, I drew back and struggled to help my girlfriend to her feet again. Our eyes were still locked together. I don't know if she saw sparks in mine but I remember seeing them clearly in hers. And these were the only eyes I was concerned with.
I mumbled an apology for the embarrassment, she did to and we both said, "Don't worry about it." Another small kiss and I turned on the crowd. "HAPPY NOW?" I asked. Everyone began laughing as I saddled back up on my friend's trusty steed.
As we pulled away I turned rubbing my nose, she rubbed hers as well. I mouthed goodbye - she waved, and my friend drove us off into the setting sun. I was happy. All things considered it wasn’t bad but the most important thing was that the first kiss was over.
There were to be many more kissing events for the next four, or so, months, but none quite as magnificent as this one. There was heavy petting and boobage groaps and all of those things that a horny teen could want yet still that kiss was our finest moment. Eventually my girlfriend would cheat on me with one of my friends. Not one of the friends currently involved in this story. We would break up, as would my friends with their girlfriends. After the break up I would see her one more time, or up until the time of this telling. I was 24 or so, and I saw her in a parking lot of an apartment complex where my brother lived. We joked about the old dayz, our special summer. We said goodbye and went our separate ways.

And that’s All I’ve Got To Say About That!


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