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What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss.

What kind of bees give milk?
Boo bees.

What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
They both like a tight seal.

Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
If it were more, it would be Hell.

What has three teeth and sixty feet?
The front row at a Willy Nelson concert.

What is the new (old) O.J. website address?
slash slash backslash escape.

What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
The balls are just for decoration.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
What are YOU shaking for? She is going to eat me!

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
About three inches.

What is the difference between a hormone, and an enzyme?
You can't hear an enzyme.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Men will screw anything.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with...the other is used to carry groceries.

What is the last thing they give Tickle Me Elmo before he leaves the factory?
Two test-tickles.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson has sex with boy's.

What's the definition of Trust?
Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.

How do you make your wife scream during sex?
Call her on the phone.

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