Sex In The Tree
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Norris goes to pick up his blind date at her
house, and when he gets there he finds out she has no arms and no legs. He's a good sport,
so he picks her up, puts her in his car, and takes her to a movie. When the movie's over,
he picks her up again and puts her back in the car.
She says, "Do you have any rope in the car?" He says, "Rope? Why, yeah, I got some rope."
She says, "Do you know that big old oak with the real low limb down the dark corner of the park?"
Norris says, "Yeah."
She says, "Why don't you take us there?"
When they get there, she has Norris get out the rope, undress her, and then she gives him explicit instructions how to use the rope to suspend her from the limb. And then, they proceed to have the wildest sex that Norris has ever had. When they're done, Norris drives her home, carries her inside,
and puts her on the living room couch.
As he's leaving, her father grabs him by the arm and says, "Here, son," and goes to hand Norris five hundred dollars. Norris says, "I can't take that, sir." Her father says, "Please, son, take the money."
Norris says, "I can't, sir. You see...I...I had sex with your daughter." Her father says, "Of course you did. But at least you didn't leave her hanging from that fucking tree!"
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