Q. How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
Q. How do you know if there's a pilot at your party?
A. She'll tell you.
Q. What is the difference between God and a pilot?
A. God doesn't think he's a pilot.
Q. What's the difference between a pilot and a pig?
A. A pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it is drunk.
Q. What do pilots use for birth control?
A. Their personality.
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