The Irish Priest
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Years ago in Ireland, there was a priest who was very anti-British. Every Sunday he would blast them from the pulpit. He became so notorious that the pope himself summoned the priest to Rome for an audience.
"Father," said the pope, "I want that there should be peace between the British and the Irish. You're not helping matters at all. I want you to kiss my ring and swear by the Blessed Virgin that you'll never so much as mention the British in public again."
"But your grace, I - I - " the priest stammered.
"No buts," said the pope. "Swear it here and now or I'm going to excommunicate you!"
"Aye, Holy Father," sighed the father. "All right. I swear it."
The very next Sunday just happened to be Easter. And the father was back at his pulpit in Ireland giving his annual Easter sermon.
He got to the part of the Easter story where Jesus said, "And one of you shall betray me."
The father continues: "Saint Andrew jumps up and says, 'Is it I Lord?' and the Lord says, 'Nay, Andy darlin, it's not you. Sit down now and dunna worry. Eat your supper.'
Then Saint John the Divine gets up with tears in his eyes and cries, 'Is it I Lord?'
And the Lord says, 'Nay, Johnny me boy, it's not you. Sit down now and dunna fret yourself. Eat your supper.'
"Then that dirty dog Judas Iscariot slowww-ly rises to his feet. And he looks the Lord right in the eye and says, 'Blimey, Mate. Ya think it's me?"
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