A Few Bad Jokes
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:-) Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa
:-) Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.
:-) Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
:-) How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
:-) How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
:-) How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
:-) What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam".
:-) What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.
:-) What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
:-) What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.
:-) What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
:-) What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
:-) What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quattro sinko.
:-) What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
:-) What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
:-) What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A pachydermatologist
:-) What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.
:-) What is a zebra? 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
:-) What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
:-) and what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.
:-) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
:-) What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
:-) What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
:-) Where do you find a no legged dog? Right where you left him.
:-) Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.
:-) Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones.
:-) Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They're trying to get away from the noise.
:-) Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.
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