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The Pillsbury Doughboy

Sad News

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection, and complication brought on from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out. including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Duncan Hines, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies Siamese Twins.

The grave-side was piled high with flours as long time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "...never knew how much he was kneaded."

  Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on crummy, half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife, Play Dough, whom he married after finding out that his first wife was a tart. They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 4:50 for about 20 minutes.

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