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Two new additions to the periodic table of elements:

   Element Name: WOMAN

   Symbol: WO

   Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)  

   Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may    freeze at any time.... (excuse me...was someone eavesdropping on our    earlier    conversation??) Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if    mishandled.

     Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong    affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when    left    alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly    green    when placed next to a shinier specimen.

     Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of    wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.      Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


   Element Name: MAN

   Symbol: XY

   Atomic Weight: 180 (+/-50)

     Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of    shape    easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure    sample.    Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily    as    young samples.

     Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.    Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.    Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period    of    time.  

   Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.  

   Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are    able    to produce large quantities on command.

     Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and    begins    to smell

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