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The New Orgasm Implant

A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.

            Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant:

 >~ Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.

 >~ Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of cover story headlines.

 >~ Dad: now surfs with two remotes.

 >~ Mom: never complains.

 >~ She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click, and     she's out the door.

 >~ The Baptists hurriedly draft an extra Commandment.

 >~ Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at $600 bucks to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV.

 >~ The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming...

 >~ "Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumb ache."

 >~ Finally, size really *doesn't* matter.

 >~ "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention...I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention...I'm sorry..."

 >~ Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to     shout your surgeon's name.

 >~ Side effects? Who cares about... oh... *oh*... OH, GOD! YESSSSSS!!!!

 >~ In addition to "Mute" and "Favorite," the wildly popular Radio Shack Ultimate Universal Remote now has a new button: "Big O."

 >~ Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner... errr, never mind.

 >~ "Now remember, Ms. Elders -- the left nipple is positive and the right is  >negative."

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