The New Orgasm Implant
A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.
Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant:
>~ Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.
>~ Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of cover story headlines.
>~ Dad: now surfs with two remotes.
>~ Mom: never complains.
>~ She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click, and she's out the door.
>~ The Baptists hurriedly draft an extra Commandment.
>~ Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at $600 bucks to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV.
>~ The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming...
>~ "Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumb ache."
>~ Finally, size really *doesn't* matter.
>~ "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention...I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention...I'm sorry..."
>~ Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to shout your surgeon's name.
>~ Side effects? Who cares about... oh... *oh*... OH, GOD! YESSSSSS!!!!
>~ In addition to "Mute" and "Favorite," the wildly popular Radio Shack Ultimate Universal Remote now has a new button: "Big O."
>~ Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner... errr, never mind.
>~ "Now remember, Ms. Elders -- the left nipple is positive and the right is >negative."
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