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Variations On Murphy's Law

1. The Law of Common Sense

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

2. The Law of Reality

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

3. The Law of Self Sacrifice

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

4. The Law of Volunteering

If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell

When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

6. The Law of Motivation

Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

7. Boob's Law

You always find something in the last place you look.

8. Wailer's Law

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

9. Law of Probable Dispersal

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

10. Law of Volunteer Labor

People are always available for work in the past tense.

11. Conway's Law

In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

12. Iron Law of Distribution

Them that has, gets.

13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology

There is always one more bug.

14. Law of Drunkenness

You can't fall off the floor.

15. Heeler's Law

The first myth of management is that it exists.

16. Osborne's Law

Variables won't; constants aren't.

17. Main's Law

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

18. Weinberg's Second Law

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

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