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Insider's Guide To The Male Vocabulary

When They Say (blank) They Mean (blank).

"Haven't I seen you before?"
** "Nice ass."

"I'm a Romantic."
** "I'm poor."

"I need you"
** "My hand is tired."

"I am different from all the other guys"
** "I am not circumcised."

"I want a commitment."
** "I'm sick of masturbation."

"You're the only girl I've ever cared about"
** "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

"I really want to get to know you better."
** "So I can tell my friends about it."

"It's just orange juice, try it."
** "3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."

"She's kinda cute."
** "I want to have sex with her till I am blue."

"I don't know if I like her"
** "She won't sleep with me."

"I miss you so much"
** "I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good."

"Was it good for you?"
** "I'm insecure about my manhood."

"How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?"
** "Is my penis really that small?"

"I had a wonderful time last night."
** "Who the hell are you?"

"Do you love me?"
** "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

"Do you 'really' love me?"
** "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."

"How much do you love me?"
** "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."

"I have something to tell you."
** "Get tested."

"I'll give you a call."
** "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."

"I've been thinking a lot."
** "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

"I think we should just be friends."
** "You're ugly."

"I've learned a lot from you."
** "Next!!!!"

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