Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light
A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?
Because no one else in this fucking house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know that there are "three" (count them) fucking bulbs BURNED OUT.
They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE \ FOUR \ POSSIBLY EVEN FIVE FUCKING DAYS, (tripping up dark stair cases, cracking toes into door jams, stepping in piles of cat puke, and fumbling with their front door keys under a not so clear moonlit night because that is the only light availabe), before they figured it OUT.
And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME FUCKING CUPBOARD for the past THIRTY YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!
BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...
I'm sorry...what did you ask me?
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