Clinton Moves to Harlem
MELVIN DURAI'S HUMOR COLUMNS
"BILL CLINTON MOVES TO HARLEM"
Bill Clinton, who enjoyed the unwavering support of African Americans during his presidency, has announced plans to open an office in Harlem, much to the delight of residents in the historic African American community. "He's one of us," some are saying. In the coming years, Clinton will continue to transform himself from "a southern white boy" to a "Harlem hero" by doing the following:
---He will run for president of the NAACP, stating that the group should now be called the National Association for the Advancement of Clinton's People.
---He will host his own talk show on the television network BET, which will henceforth be known as Bill's Entertainment Television.
---He will claim that the only reason he messed around with Monica Lewinsky was because she was "the only intern with black hair and a booty."
---Following in the footsteps of Malcolm X, he will ask some of his friends to start referring to him as Bill XXX.
---He will claim that he and his wife, Hillary, have never ever slept on plain white sheets, because they didn't want to show the slightest support for the KKK. Later, he will admit the real reason: "I didn't want our sheets to look like Monica's dress."
---He will claim to be the real father of supermodel Tyra Banks. Shedding a tear, he will say, "With Hillary gone to the Senate and Chelsea in college, I'm pretty lonely. I wish Tyra would start visiting her daddy."
---He will start styling his hair in an Afro, claiming that he once had an Afro as a child, but got rid of it because he was afraid of the KKK.
---He will spend five hours a day at a tanning salon. When questioned by reporters, he will say, "I'm just trying to bring out my natural color."
---He will emphasize his middle name and ask the media to call him "Willie Jefferson." He will also claim to have starred in the 1970s sitcom "The Jeffersons."
---He will record a rap song with the Rev. Jesse Jackson. "We cheated on our wives and we got caught. We promise to never do it again, unless the babe's really hot."
~~Copyright 2001 Melvin Durai http://www.funnycolumns.com
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