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It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men,
  BEER and PUSSY...

  A beer is always wet.
  A pussy needs encouragement.
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  A beer tastes horrible served hot.
  A pussy tastes better served hot.
  Advantage: Pussy.
 
  Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
  Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
  Pussy does not.
  Advantage: Tie
 
  If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  24 beers come in a box.
  A pussy is a box you can come in.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
  Advantage: Pussy.
 
  If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
  If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
  6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
  Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
  Advantage: Tie
 
  It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football
  game.
  You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a
  breathalyzer.
  If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  With beer, bigger is better.
  Advantage: beer.
 
  Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
  Advantage: beer.
 
  Pussy can make you see God.
  Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
 
  If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
  Advantage: Pussy
 
  Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
  Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
  Advantage: Pussy.
 
  If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
  If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
  Advantage: Tie
 
  If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
  If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
 
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
 
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
  Advantage: Pussy.
 
  The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
  Advantage: Beer.
 
  Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
  Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
  Advantage: Tie
 
  Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
  Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
  Advantage: Pussy.
 
  The government taxes beer.
  Advantage: Pussy.

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