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MELON BALLING
Submitted to The General Letter Quarterly by Mar Mogollon

Today I decided to ball my watermelon. Yes, I had been putting it off for too long. It had been sitting on the counter for a couple of days looking lonely. I gave it a good feel and it was beginning to smell ripe. I knew the job could get tedious so I flexed my hand a few times and opened her up right then and there.
Then, I took out my baller. (It's a recently new acquisition I'm proud of - it's even got two sizes to enjoy, one on each end. Imagine!). I plunged in, dipping time and time again with my tool and she was getting mighty juicy. In fact I had a hard time keeping a hold on her as she began rolling around on the counter. I was starting to get wet myself as her melon nectar splashed out over me. I could just taste that sweet fruit the more I thought about it so I really wanted to get the job done but I noticed a problem in my dish.
I had gotten in nice and deep and there was plenty of juice, not to mention hunks, but I didn't get a ball - not one perfectly firm ball. Now plenty of juicy hunks with no balls may be a lesbian's dream but I really wanted to get a ball out of her. No, I wanted beautiful ball upon beautiful ball out of this job. I kept inserting the tool and giving it a good twist but when I would pull out and turn over, my ball kept ending up in a block. Yes, my ball kept ending with an undesirable edge. Oh sure, I could get half a ball. But, anyone knows how frustrating getting only half way there can be. I even got about three-quarters of a ball, which gets you excited and makes you try even harder for the perfect one. Thus, ending in even worse aggravation if you just don't get it all. So I started to think. (Maybe that's a mistake when you're balling melons?) Did I pull out too soon - Or perchance, too abruptly? There must be some trick to it...some particular rotation of my baller perhaps, that would give me that perfect ball. But, alas, I am a novice at balling my melon. If there are any "Helouise" types out there who really know how to get a good ball in a melon, please write to the general letter and describe your technique. Thank you.

Thanks for your help Andylanders if you choose to publish this. I hope all is going well with your balling , etc.
Love, Mar

 

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