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Auto Erotic Asphyxiation

The following piece is the product of semi-regular postings in our old Humor forum/Message Boards, We have long collected these and decided we would give them their own page. there is alot here but we felt you just mind find some of it humorous. The entries and name of entrants are provided below.

MIKE IS THERE A CHANNEL FOR THIS? 
BarbieDoll  There is now.
Ken So, Barbie, this is where you have been hanging out. I thought you said you were going to get your hair done. I knew you were messing around on me... 
MIKE it's just that I have so many issues in my life right now. School, work, relationships(Ken, you dont call me anymore). In this day and age where does one find the time to do the rigorous repetitive motion task of masturbation while still maintaining the quality of life that America promises? I feel the need but lack the rope and a proper tree to hang from. Has anyone else ever had this problem ?
HOWLER Have you ever had an orgasm that was so great, so intense that you fell over, hit your head on the terlet, blacked out, and no one found you for days. Um, not that, that's ever happened to me. 
Shirly Unome I never hit the toilet but once, in the throes of passion I sucked the curtain in like a hoover and nearly suffocated myself. Does that count? 
somafeces I just wonder how you guys can talk about this in public? I mean, come on?! It's private... my own personal business. Hey, did anybody see that porno "Ryan's Privates" yet? 
Shirly Unome Jesus!! that is really more information than I needed to know.
Clever1 I feel that maybe, just maybe I should not be here. 
Mucky Are they illegal narcotics in that little plastic bag?
onomatopia Shirly Unome who are you? I am laughin so hard at that hooverin the curtain that i've nothin witty to say. oh and clever you definitely should not be here, you naughty gel, you. 
Shirly Unome I could never tell as everybody here knows me - in different ways, of course. 
Jesta Freak I saw that movie 'Shaving Ryans Gerbil', boy that was a gutsthy rendithion of hormonal sthexual absthracthion. Well done I sthay!
Condor Um, Howler, about that crab apple tree in the front yard that fell down.... 
HOWLER Um, yeah. What about that crab apple tree in the front yard that fell down. 
TStorm A crab apple tree fell? 
Das Booty I got crabs the size of crab apples. 
Condor It wasn't exactly the wind that made it fall down. I was living the american dream and the limbs gave out....
HOWLER You go Boy! You live that dream! 
Das Booty  What the Hell is Condor talking about.
Pope_Locutus OMG!!! I'm laughing so hard I can't think!!! 
Data  It was a popular belief that if one were to restrict their own airflow just prior to an orgasm, that the sensations were intensified, tenfold. I shall demonstrate for you now. Ack! Urgle! Ack! Oh dear lawdy Jesus! 
Condor  The callus around my..... 
NECK! is starting to go away, Thank GOd 
HOWLER Lo how we have missed you these many months. Glad to have you back upon the site. 
Condor ... and so the post pubescent prevert bought some new rope and contemplated his next act of debauchery. He still could not find a place to hang his rope to replace the crab apple tree in front of howler's house. He tried the strongest support beam in the house, only to have it break, destroying the stability of the family abode. His family frowned at his weak explanation ("I was hanging a picture!"). All he knew in the back of his mind was "I just have to have this rope!". As he was driving along the Pike he noticed those familiar golden arches. And the proverbial wood stiffened once more..... 
HOWLER Lo, how we now remember those reasons why we didn't miss you while you were away.
condor I wanted to sincereley apologize for the ..... Stuff I contributed to this message forum. I dont know what came over me. I was just falling into the trap of degenerative peer pressure and thought that it was... ok. But I digress. Twas the temptation of the deble.
Brynan Can I play?!? Can I play?!?! AAAWWWWW.....you guys never let me play!!!!! 

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