The Amish Connection
The following piece is the product of semi-regular postings in our old Humor forum/Message Boards, We have long collected these and decided we would give them their own page. there is alot here but we felt you just mind find some of it humorous. The entries and name of entrants are provided below.
|Gen RW Boyce||I hate the Amish. They look so innocent with their "plain looks" and black clothes. You can almost hear them....."Oooooh thou art going to buy my over priced quilt aren't thou??!!!"...
You know what that orange triangle is for on the back of the Amish buggie?....If ya hit it with a softball...It dunks the Amishman inside....
|Gen. Ezikial Goodman||We shall rain down upon thee general and your 'doomed to surely burn in hell' brigade. Our Midget patrols shall spring up from behind very small rocks and clumps of grass to poke at thee upon the buttocks with sharpened things. My Amish army shall roll over thee in our war chariots and pelt you with lumps of cheese. You shall know defeat on that day, I can tell you. YOU SHALL KNOW DEFEAT!!!!|
|Gen RW Boyce||You plain, cheese eatin, over priced quilt usin,no technology usin, butter churnin, udder squeezin idjut. I already know of Amish de-feet. They smell like a dill pickle. Put your shoes back on and go grab a cow teet. You do your worst and bring those ugly little midgets with you. We will stomp you into an ugly Amish/midget mud puddle and walk you dry. You bring it on Amos, and I will make a coaster out of that silly beard!!|
|Condor||If you put the amish ladies in Victoria's secret outfits and give 'em a mickey, they are really not that different. Just keep 'em quiet long enough....|
|Buzz||And I heard they'll do two mennonite (BAD PUN)|
|BuddyBob||Them Amishters is tricky, I caught one and whupped him and pulled his beard and kneecapped him and he still said he weren't no UN/NWO invader. See how they lie???|
|Jacob Lapp||Verily wilt thou be crushed under the buggy wheels of Amish justice!! Thou shalt labor in the barns of the righteous come Y2K. Thou shalt surely know the wrath of the Amish. Preparest thou for the cleansing fires of kerosene. Suckle now at the teets of Amish superiority!!!
Resistance beith futile!!
|Kyle Landers||Y2K done come and gone and No Amish Invasion. But I wouldn't trust them. They are probably waiting.
Waiting for us to relax and then WHAM!!!
Hit us with a butter churn when we are asleep.
|Kathy Mires||You people need a life. Why must you pick on a peaceful people like the Amish? They are not even aware of your stance since they don't have computers. Bet you wouldn't try this with the Jehovah's Witnesses.|
|Chuck Wagon||The Mormons are tougher than even the Amish. They have more than 1 wife and that makes you tough. You learn how to fight and argue better.|
|condor||My God can beat up your God. SO THERE!|
|Eli Lapp||Verily thou shall be stopped soon.
We shall smite thee and all that useth electricity. The Amish useth the kerosene computer and shalt rule thee with an iron fist.
Thou shalt do all the milking.
Especially at 4 AM.
|Ted Turner||Y'all best heed the Amish! They done and took over us and y'all is next. What did ya think AOL stood for. Amish On Line! That's what!!
They made me git rid of Jane, but that was no big loss anyways. Oh well, back ta milking.
|Gen RW Boyce||I survived the hit by the Amish team. They tried to get me, an I did suffer a few rake and pitchfork wounds. But they now know what a stun gun is. Have to do better than that Jacob or Amos or whatever.|
|LollyPopKid||Them Amish aint so tuff. Try a munchkin for tuffness. A munchkin could whoopass on any Amish twice his size. Come to think of it, most Amish are twice my size.|
|Gen RW Boyce||We have received communication from the Amish wishing to talk peace. Always the same with the Amish....Peace this and love that... Well OK then... Peace on the Amish!!!|
|brian damron||i don't understand the animosity toward the amish, thet don't pollute as bad as everyone else they are the way the whole u.s. population will eventually go, or should go to aid in slowing down the green house effect and to slow global warming before it becomes to late.|
|spooge||GREENHOUSE EFFECT!!!! IT'S FREEKING 20 DAMN DEGREES OUTSIDE.
God, how I long for so-called "greenhouse effect" to kick in. I'm cold.
And that's all we got for the The Amish Conspiracy lines so far for May 4th 2K1. Find more like this in the Humor Forum/Message Boards <--- no longer exists.
This is still an active thread in the Humor Forum You will find the "Amish Chat" in the Humor Forum under the "Things That Piss Me Off..." Section. <--- no longer exists
Please feel free to go and leave your mark amongst the cryptic opinions/comments there in. Be warned that we may post it here so use a fake name.
For more about the Amish/Midget conspiracy see the home page for the Beaver County Militia (http://sonoguy.tripod.com/) I promise Thou Shan't be disappointed.
The "Beaver County Militia" is a militia for those that are "non violent", but are militant about being "non violent". And will fight to the death to stay "non violent."
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