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Insurance Claims

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words.

<=> I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

<=> Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 

<=> The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 

<=> I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. 

<=> I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 

<=> A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. 

<=> The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. 

<=> In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole. 

<=> I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. 

<=> I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 

<=> I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 

<=> As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 

<=> To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

<=> My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. 

<=> An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

<=> I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull. 

<=> I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

<=> The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him. 

<=> I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. 

<=> The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 

<=> I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. 

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