Your One Stop Comedy Shop

You know you are in Arizona when:

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
You can eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You discover you can get a sun burn through your car window.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the street.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or no air conditioning.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize asphalt has a liquid state.
  
It is so hot in Arizona...

The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
It is so dry in Arizona...
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.

  
A sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain not so much for me, cuz I've seen it but for my 7-year-old-son."


A visitor to Arizona once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"
A rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained 40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood"
"Well, the rancher puffed up, 'we got about two and a half inches during that spell.

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