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General Letter Philosophy

This compilation of, um.... cerebral droppings, if you will, have been put here to hopefully brighten and enlighten your each and every day.



  • You only stick your hand in a meat grinder once! (Joal [The Troll] Mogollon)
  • Funny thing about opinions the only person who truly gives half a shit about yours is you. (I Dred Knot)
  • I really hate to say a thing that someone else has said before. I heard that somewhere. ( JestaFreak  )
  • It's all good, , , Except when it's bad! ( Chip Gatzert )
  • When the going gets weird, the weird turn Pro! ( Wavy Gravy, via Hunter S. Thompson )
  • Why can't we all just get a bong? ( The Late, Chip Gatzert )
  • A mans gotta butter his biscuits, one way, or ta other!
  • What if there were no hypothetical situations? ( The Late, Chip Gatzert )
  • Life is 1/2 of one and 6 dozen of the other.
  • Only users lose drugs!
  • Trust in God, but always take precautionary measures!
  • The only time I get a fair shake is at the urinal. ( JestaFreak  )
  • Why does some fecal masses float vertical and others float horizontal? ( Zenmama )
  • Only dead fish go with the current!
  • Humphrey Osmond said that each of us, owes God a death. If that's true I am paying my debt with yours!
  • If you cannot laugh at yourself, rest assured that me and my friends will do it for you.
  • This world is my oyster, and I'm going to suck the pearl! Woohoo!
 

OLDER STUFF

  • I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
  • A bhudda walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Can you make me one with everything?"
  • Life is like a shit sammich, the more bread you have the less actual shit you have to eat.
  • Everybody's handed a lump of shit when they are born, and they have to sculpt it into some semblance of a life. I know to many morons who still have that same lump of shit.  ( JestaFreak  )
  • In relationships there should be a prenuptial agreement on friends, that states in the event of a break-up we each retain sole rights to the friends we brought into the bonding. ( JestaFreak  )
  • Always remember, you may not know everything that might not be true! (This Gem is a Quote from HOWLERS niece Faran.)
  • I am prejudiced against dumb people, but I don't wish they didn't exist. I myself just have very little use for them - outside of one of em making me a Big Mac or somethin! ( JestaFreak  )
  • Being an optimist is all fine and dandy, but there exists a point where an optimist becomes just another fool. ( JestaFreak  )
  • Falling in love, a phrase that seems so accidental. Whoops! Look what done happened here! It's like steppin in Dog crap. ( JestaFreak  )
  • The worst thing about cows is ya gotta stop what your doin' and walk around in front of them when ya want a kiss. (HOWLER and CDTrips's boss)
  • I absolutely will not date women who use four letter words like STOP, QUIT, or DON"T. (Chick McGEE, local DJ)
  • If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, then how long will it take a cross eyed monkey, with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? ( JestaFreak  )
  • It's better to give than achieve. (Homeless Berkelyite)
  • Buttholes - Ain't for lovin! (Randall)
  • We're all revolting in our own way. (Chip Gatzert)
  • I always figure if I'm not in bed by midnight then I might as well go home. (Q95)
  • Before I return a library book I like to yank out some of my pubic hairs and sprinkle them amongst the pages. In doing this I feel much more manly. ( JestaFreak  )
  • Anything you say, can and most likely will be held against you. Mention my penis, please. ( JestaFreak  )
  • One should never choke their chicken afore it hatches. ( JestaFreak  )
  • If a ram is a goat, and an ass is a donkey, then why is a ram in the ass, a goose?
  • Never look a gift horse up the ass. ( JestaFreak  )
  • Don't take any wooden pickles. ( JestaFreak  )
  • If it smells like ass, it must be ass! ( JestaFreak  )
  • Whoever said the world is what we make it, needs a good and sound ass kickin. ( JestaFreak  )

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