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Random Acts Of Violence

Random Acts Of Violence. I put it here because I know there is someone who you think should be killed. And perhaps you haven't the chutzpa to do the deed. Please send us their name and your reason for wanting me to get like Lizzy Borden on them, and I will take your plea under advisement. And I don't want to make any money folks, I just kinda dig hackin people into tinier pieces of themselves.

stephen hodges - For making these comments about the American Pie movies. "american pie movies-at some point non-imaginative toilet humor becomes down rite third grade look what i can say and get away with gay-ass humor." -- HOWLER (Because I have always enjoyed those movies. But more importantly for not capitalizing your own name in any of the 4 suggestions you made to have people killed. Have some pride man, and a few wacks from the old trusty axe.)

freddie prinz jr -for that dumbass retatrted smile on his face in every lame-ass movie. his dad was funny and an alcoholic (which is double-funny) he is neither and should be de-toothed and shot out of a cannon onto your axe.  --  stephen hodges (I can not believe he wasn't on my list already for this very reason. I stand at the ready with my trusty axe.)

brad pitt - for looking absolutley filthy and still considered a sex-symbol.he looks as though he picks and eats his boogers.he should be bathed,given a haircut and then hacked into small dirty pieces and put in a box "what's in the fucking box?"  --  stephen hodges (He shall be a victim due to how many woman he has done the nasty on that I myself have coveted.)

cameron diaz - for being a big-mouthed/lipped ugly no-talented dumbass who seems to get all the good movie roles because mtv says she is beautiful and talented.  --  stephen hodges (Oh but she fall, as well as those at mtv for their misrepresentation. and the rest of the cast of charlies angels as well.)


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Demi Moore - She is a old dirty...OLD.....OLD...nasty ho! AND SHES DATING ASHTON KUTCHER. I think thats enough Reason right there.Bitch! - Nicholle (As Nicholle comandeth, so shall it be done, Tho it makes me a trifle sad as I have always wanted to get upon Demi in the family way.)

leonardo di caprio - Because the dumb fuck continues to reappear in movies just so that the brain-dead blondes will drool over his skimpy ass some more! For christ sakes, the girl was able to hold on the the damn board in the middle of the ocean longer than that pussy! - Josh Smith (I fully agree, however old leo got pretty buff in that movie 'the beach'.)

hillary duff - god i hate her, if she gets any more cheery i might just have2 force screwdrivers deep in 2 my fragile ear canal just 2 stop her voice reaching me. would it hurt u 2 just not smile for a minute bitch! - Jo (I had to do some quick research to find out who this person was and my search validated this request.)

adam & eve - for biting that fucking apple. - God (I coulda lived my whole life without knowledge of my naughty bits, now I am plagued by them - Fred Roque.)

the makers of the drug xenical - On account of one of it's known side effects being gas with an oily discharge. - CDTrips (This will be granted due to the number of times I have experienced CDTrips gas myself. I shall be swift and rightious with the axe.)

phillip benson (from Humorcafes Humor Polls) - because he really deserves to die for being the most arrogant, unfunny, argumentative, lazy, stupid, nasty, agressive, smelly, evil little prick known to man. Please kill him and put me...everyone... out of our misery. Please hurry!!! - Nic Martin (he will die horribly on account of he has more votes then 'Howlers left one' in the who is sexiest category, we all know that 'HOWLERS left one' can't vote for itself)

paul r. haines II - just because he is foul, stupid and his insistent (I believe he meant incessant) whining is driving our shop crazy. - Douglas L. Brisbane (Howler hates foul folks, could mail pieces of him to his family members.)

nick carter - If we have to listen to his nagging anymore we'll kill ourselves!!! Plus, the way he eats is herindous (spell check) !! And he snores long and loud!  - The Backstre... Er, um - N'SYNC

people - who wear cowboy hats, who aren't, at the time of the wearing, currently sitting upon a horse. Or who don't at the time have a horse or a cow within a quarter mile of the wearers location. The death should be dealt out more slowly if that person is chewing a piece of straw. - Squiggly Arconi

anyone - who has ever done the macarena, included those two bastards that started the moronic dance craze. For the love of god I am glad that's over.

kenneth star - only because as a direct result of all of his foolishness my grandfather actually said the words oral sex in my presence. i am not happy about this. - diddumdaddum

kennyD - because he thwacked me on the hand. Vigorously. And only because I wanted to be his friend. - FaRT

miss mayfair - Howler's, sister's kindergarten teacher for hitting her and Peggy on the head with the book she was reading  just cause they felt the urge to tickle each other or play row row your boat or somethin or other during story hour. - Howler's sister Pia


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the dumb bitch from circle k - She was rude to Jon one day and rude to Me the very next and any other burnt out convenience store clerk who should add her management to this list rather than take out her aggressions on innocent customers. Cause so what if i didn't realize camel lights \ came in 100's. - Howler's sister Pia

rosario esquer - This girl wut goes to my school and I dislike her much and she needs to die. And she has nappy hair. FOR SHAME. - Howlers neice Clever1

michael jackson - I have my reasons. - Macauley Culkin

cdtrips - because he once shot my baby boy in the forehead with a hand gun. - HOWLERS Mama

dr. judy - um, cause she's a moron. - Chantal Coughlin

my cousin - cuz one year not only did she give us those hideous x-mas towel sets that you only put out when the asshole who gave them to you is coming over to visit, but she didn't even have the imagination to pick out different gifts for everyone or at least different patterns. nope, we all got the same thing. for a minute when she handed me the gift I felt kinda bad cuz we didn't get anything for her but now I'm glad I didn't. - SmokeyLaughter

barney - It is my firm belief that purple things are more useful when they have been hacked into smaller purple things - Squiggly Arconi

ricki lake & jenny jones - these two mental still births are as dumb as the morons on our shows - Jerry Springer

tori spelling - So I never have to see that pathetic pouty face whining about "why don't other directors hire me?" - Arron Spelli.... um Spellman

pamela anderson ( lee or not ) - To prevent the production of Barbed Wire II Electric Boobaloo. We have seen her thingy's. Her job is done. - Sammy Lunchmeat

my brother roger - For appearing on that damn show, the nanny and ridiculing the family name for the rest of history. I mean, Damn. I thought jimmy carter had it bad with his brother, like I need this right now. - Bill Clint.... um just Bill

chelsea tor - (also from choir) Because I have a slightly irrational hatred of her that seeps right into my very core, and she once had the audacity to violate the sanctity of my room by appearing on the local news b4 I could reach my remote. (I almost had a seizure) Damn her straight to hell. - Clever1

leaf garrett - for all that blonde hair. Hey, but shouldn't he have been another victim of the 80's. Kill him before his comeback album. - Lane Smythe

david cassidy - for having the gaul to to make money by releasing an album of all those hits from his partridge family days. - D. Bonneducci

the next person - who brings up clinton, lewinski, trip or star. Terminate them with extreme prejudice. - The American Public

the makers of olestra - for all that nasty stuff it did to me. My belly is still alive with turmoil, OOOPS, gotta go. - Lane Smythe

mike tyson - for biting of more than he could chew. Have fun in Indiana, mike! - A tiny hunk of ear.

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